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I haven’t posted in over a week, but it’s because I have been down in Orlando at Walt Disney World. As many times as I have stayed at Disney, I have somehow managed to never visit their water parks until now and I have to say they are a blast. Thanks to a combination of crazy weather and pure luck, we managed to catch the water parks on a day where they were practically empty and thanks to the fact that there were no lines we were able to visit both of Disney’s water parks in the same day.

We started our day out at Blizzard Beach which is designed to look like a melting ski resort complete with a chair lift. With everything from a lazy river to various slides, Blizzard Beach has all your usual water park attractions but the real kicker is the insane water slide Summit Plummet. The folks at Disney aren’t necessarily known for thrill rides but Summit Plummet is as extreme as water slides come. At 12 stories high and propelling riders up to 60 miles an hour, the slide is currently the tallest and fastest water slide in the US. To reach the the top of the water slide you take the fore-mentioned ski lift to a landing before climbing another few stories worth of stairs.

Summit Plummet

The view from the top of Summit Plummet is pants crappingly terrifying to say the least. The slide’s near vertical drop means that when you are at the top it looks like you are about to fall off a cliff, which to be honest isn’t too far off from the truth. When I first went over the edge, I swear my body lost contact with the slide for about 20 feet. The whole drop is over in a matter of seconds with about half of it taking you through a dark tunnel. It’s terrifying, exhilarating, and great fun right up until the super wedgie you get at the bottom of the slide. The force of the water slowing you down from 60 miles an hour snatches your swim suit up between your cheeks with the strength of a thousand middle school bullies. Everyone that braves Summit Plummet ends up with one of these wedgies. I found it to be incredibly entertaining to just sit on the benches at the bottom of the slide and watch the faces of each rider contort with shock and discomfort as they try to gracefully adjust their bathing suit at the bottom of the slide.

After Blizzard Beach, we hopped a bus over to Disney’s other water park Typhoon Lagoon. With terrible weather looming off in the distance, we had very limited time at Typhoon Lagoon so we made a bee line for the attraction that sounded the coolest, Shark Reef. At the Shark Reef you snorkel with sharks, rays, and tropical fish. It was pretty awesome. I could describe it to you but, since I had my GoPro camera with me and filmed part of it, I think it’s just easier to show you.

If you have any questions or have anything that you’d like featured in a future post on The Renaissance Beard , don’t hesitate to contact me or leave it in the comments.